THE MUTE DIARIES Entry 1: Stripped

Ok, the worst has happened. I've finally done it... worn myself so far into the ground that I'm exhausted and have lost my best asset as a result - my voice. It finally decided its not waiting for me to go on holiday anymore, it went without me. I was ordered to rest my busy self and my voice for 3 weeks. I was shocked and devasted, but after some reassurance and the really great support of my friends, (thank you!) I've accepted that for 3 weeks, I'm mute.



That's right, no singing, no talking and barely laughing. I'm naturally a quiet person anyway (took me years to break out of THAT shell) so the not speaking, I dont mind too much - back to my roots! But I've had to cancel some shows, and cancel my whole life basically. Or so I thought... but this is really a much more profound experience than I ever imagined it could be - and to my surprise, in many positive ways.

I'll keep you up to date in my Mute Diaries. We'll call this Entry 1 because already after a few days, I've had some real epiphanies, and moments of fear and comedy.

One being that I honestly feel as though I'm a super-hero who's been stripped of her powers. Sweezy SewperStar is on vacation! I've had to strip my whole being mentally because I can't just be Sewuese the Singer anymore. For real, it's the maddest perspective. Right now, listening to my recordings is like an out-of-body experience. I hear my voice like it doesn't belong to me. Though I always said it was a gift, seeing it from the point of view that I dont have it right now, has made me see how big and great a gift it really is.

It cant be my focus for now so I gotta focus on other things, which is quite refreshing, after being Sewuese the Singer for so many years. So mad and upset as I was to have to stop for a sec, my eyes have opened so wide to other parts of me and who I am, not just what. Guess you could say I'm thankful.

But I want my voice back tho.

LOL.
I mean, LS (laughing silently;)